(I would like to leave a trigger warning here – this story discusses pregnancy loss and maternity photos after loss. Please avoid this post if this will not be helpful or therapeutic to you at this time and know that I am sending you all the love and support)
One of my main goals with my recent rebrand was to provide a safe space for mothers. A space where you are free from judgment. Where you can share your story and your journey to motherhood and feel supported.
Having shared my own story just last week, I know first-hand how vulnerable it can make you feel, so I was so grateful when Amanda told me that she was willing to share her story here on the blog.
I recently photographed Amanda and David’s studio Maternity session, but it wasn’t until shortly before their session that I learned that this beautiful baby that we were celebrating was actually their rainbow baby. Maternity photos after loss come with an entirely different set of emotions and I was honored that Amanda and David trusted me to photograph this moment for them.
Without further ado, here’s Amanda’s story in her own words:
Fall of 2022, David and I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. We got married earlier that year, had just went on our honeymoon, and were in the midst of house hunting for our future “family” home. The year could not have been scripted more perfectly.
We kept the secret between us, googling every question and getting excited for the future that lay ahead. We shared the good news with our families at Christmas, gifting baby onesies as the big reveal. The Holidays were spent celebrating with family and friends, talking about future plans with our loved ones.
The first week of January 2023, I had my 12-week ultrasound. We were so excited to see our baby on the screen, but almost immediately could tell something was wrong. After a few minutes, and politely but quietly dodging my questions, the sonographer left to get my doctor. Upon the doctor’s return, we were told the baby no longer had a heartbeat. We learned I had experienced what is referred to as a “missed miscarriage” – our baby had stopped growing a few weeks prior, though my body did not present any symptoms indicating this. We elected to have a D&C and await further testing results.
We learned our baby had a chromosomal abnormality called Turner Syndrome, ultimately making our baby not fit for life. The next few months were spent privately and publicly grieving, leaning on friends and family when possible.
I got my next positive pregnancy test in May 2023 (on Mother’s Day no less), only to be devastated a few days later with a chemical pregnancy. After this loss, we sought professional advice and began pursuing fertility testing to understand if there were underlying reasons for these losses. The next few months were spent undergoing additional testing and monitoring. Through all of this, we were blessed to get pregnant naturally and are excited to welcome our rainbow baby in April 2024.
Miscarriage feels like the most isolating experience at times. There is a stigma around miscarriage where parents, particularly women, blame themselves. What I learned is that there are so many people in your life who are unfortunately touched with their own stories of loss or infertility – it is just not widely shared or talked about.
For anyone reading this who is currently struggling: know that you are not alone and everything you are feeling is valid. Lean on your loved ones and find the resources that speak to your healing best.
I am so lucky to have such a strong partner in David who held us together in those few months, and who is without a doubt going to be the best dad. I am also thrilled to have connect with Kate. We could not have picked a better photographer to document this journey as we take on our new title of Mom and Dad this Spring.
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Amanda, thank you so much for your willingness to share your story. You and David are a perfect team and while you had to weather quite the storm, you did it together. I am grateful that you have trusted me with this incredible part of your family’s story and I can’t wait to meet your beautiful baby soon!
For more stories like this one, click here.
Vendors involved with this beautiful session:
Studio: The Studio at Princeton Ave
Hair: Melanie Frasher
Makeup: Contact Kate for more information
Wardrobe: From the Kate Voda Photography Client Closet
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Kate Voda is a NJ Newborn Photographer specializing in in-home newborn lifestyle photography sessions and lifestyle portrait photography sessions. Kate serves New Jersey and the surrounding areas. View Kate’s Portfolio here or view more of Kate’s work on Instagram.
